Seven months.

That is how long it took me to blog, between blogs. Just an observation. :)

Amazing how time flies. I probably would have blogged if not having gone through an amazingly draining experience in my personal life involving massive amounts of cheap whisky, and several broken hearts. That is all the elaboration I'm going to do on that very personal subject, but for the record, the liquor was consumed not by me, but by someone else (contrary to what you may assume being that my last blog in May was called Drunk)….

Ahhhhh. I sit here drinking my soy latte with natural coconut flavor, in this quaint little coffee shop in my favorite part of town, and I am happy.  It's amazing how we take for granted the ability to just BE. Only after having my whole life lifted out from under me and shaken, after dragging myself through the last half of the year, struggling every day to find the stillness within myself, I can finally appreciate it.

Stillness.

Even with two almost-two-year-olds running around getting into everything. I'm talking about stillness within my mind, my spirit, and my body. If you have experienced any type of life crisis, then you must have an idea of what I'm talking about.

Yoga has been rejuvenating for me. It is so hard to just be still in your own mind!! I recently realized that almost constantly if I'm not thinking, I'm singing in my head.

I guess we're all a little crazy…

Restlessness

I had a dream last night that had to do with the impermanence of my family. Was it a sign? In this world of myth and signs and TV and law, sometimes the best thing to do Right Now can be hard to decipher. One thing I do know. I have a gypsy soul, and I wonder about it. Why can't we just sit still? Even as I type the words I already know the answer within myself. I can't sit still because... I'm not a rock! And even rocks aren't fully, fully still, now are they?

Don't get me wrong. I am absolutely in love with my surroundings. My family. These two kids, faces caked with yogurt, impeding my productivity they may be, chatting up anyone and everyone with their ever-growing vocabularies… God I am so lucky to have them. LUCKY. Blessed to have them, that they love me unconditionally, that I get to spend every single day and night with them. This little family makes me absolutely sure that I'm doing the right thing in my life, at this moment. For us. :)

But then there's this productivity... that is lacking in my life. Granted, I have been a stay-at-home mom for going on two years, give or take a few temp jobs here or there… Here's where I am falling off. I have so much to say about job searches, productivity in the modern world, expectations of my family and society, and in turn, myself!, blah blah blah. My kids' breakfasttime is over, so here ends my blogging-for-the-first-time-in-a-long-long-long-time.

Here's to keeping on keeping on this path, difficult as it may be at times, it is mine!